5 Days away!!!!

Sing me song your a singer!! Pass me the bong your a bringer of refer!!
The Devil is never a maker!! The less that you give your a taker!!!
And it's on and on and on
It's Heaven and Hell!!!! Oh well!!!

Gott-Damn it's almost here!!! check out the layout. Our seats will be in section One six rows from the stage!!!
I hope these old fuckers don't smell like canalope and geritol.....
Stay tuned as I try to figure out how to down load pics off my new phone Nextel i870 complete with mp3 pic chip, Blue tooth, and im capability.... The camera has 1.3 mega p's and I hope the picture come out better than the old camera phone I had. This way I can post some cool pics and even a video from the concert!!!

Well if it seems to be real it's illusion
cause every moment of truth there's confusion in life
Love can be seen as the answer
what do I smell when I pants her??

It goes on and on and on it's Heaven and Hell
Fool Fool!!

May 8th Slum...ber party

Well I have decided to take a few days off of work and do a little "slum'en" and head down south... May 8th Tuesday I will be heading to this lovely city for a few days. Can anyone guess what city it is? Also can you guess what state it is in? I will stay there until Thursday when I will return home to rejoin my duties and responsabilities of the "lord and savior" of the South Side.... (Self dubbed title)
So this week will be the pre- week.. Saturday May 5th Of course Black Sabbath!!! 6th Row!!! with Brain (Duke). Then Softball tourney on Sunday. Work Monday, Get away trip Tuesday then Back Thursday Fridaythe 11th work then drive E. and her friends to dance in limo bus. Sunday is Muthas day then at 6:00 pm Muthas day I head up to the lake to sleep over and first thing in the am Monday have the Marina drop the Rica Marie in the puddle and hand auger the poles into the lake bed for summer fun.... Then back to home base Monday before rush hour traffic.... Whew! I am gettin tired just written about it...
Peace Bitches...

Meet Mr Magicicada Septendecim. I believe that is the name of this character because Magicicada Septendecula is very rare around here and Magicicada Cassini is usually found around the Mississippi valley area.
Heff has issues with insects on his blog and in his garden with that black grasshopper so I figure I would point out the fact that with the Periodical life cycle of this critter in its 17 year this year the dreaded singing Cicada are excpected to be here!!! I have woods next to me here at the BUC and man I bet these fuckers are gonna drive us crazy!!!

For some of you who are of.....uhm of a larger size..... It's a fact that Cicadas where used as a diuretic by peasants in Provence... I'm not pointing the finger but some of the blog readers have been acting sort of... uhm ..pissy about some FAT pictures I posted lately so I don't want to offend anyone (cough) wil (cough)!!

Anywho I am interested in what this summer will bring with these Fuckers flying around and fuckin with everyone. My daughter E. Freaks the Fuck Out when she sees a fly so these monster will probably send her to the nut house!!! LOL bugs are cool.

I remember ohhh about 17 years when they came around last time, this kid brought a coffee can full of these creatures to school and tossed them all over the playground... I don't recall them being plentyful or bothersome around the house I grew up at that time..... At least nothing comes to mind so I don't know what will happen this year......Stay tuned!!!

Thinking about getting a tatto??

So I was thinking about getting a tatto and then I saw this guy and said THIS is what I really want......
How fucked up do you have to be to do this to yourself or somebody else for that matter?
Comments, concerns?

The Season begins...........

OK keep it clean people this is one of my lovely daughters. Her name is E. . She pitches for our travel softball team and Sunday we had our first Tourney out of town which turnied into a 14 hour day. Their first game was at 9:00 am which is not too terribly early. Ok the coach wants us there at 8:00 am...... still not so bad.. Then ya find out its at a sports complex that is a drive that 1 and1/2 hours away!!! So now ya got to leave at 6:30 am which means ya gotta get up at 5:00 to 5:30 am!!!
All and all it was a good day (I didn't have ta use ma A-K) The first game E. pitched the whole game and we won 6-5. She pitched to 19 batters and struck out 6, 3 standing and 3 swinging at the last pitch. She also got and RBI and made it to 3rd base before the end of the inning. Which is god because she has not been so good with the bat. I handle the book of stats and it gets pretty busy out there but I am pretty much flawless on my talleys and markings so we can go back and get a better look at where we need to improve.
Well the next two games we lost. The second game was at 1:00pm so after the first one we ate and chilled until about 12:00 when we met on the field and warmed up. Remember we just sat in our vehicles or went to a resturaunt and waitied till the next game which is what you do at a tournement. We lost the next game mainly on errors in the in field. Over throwing the ball but actually our bunt coverage was for shit!! so they got a few on base and scored a few times and that was all she wrote. We scored a few but it's hard to come back after they get a good lead.
With all the girls on the team E. sat out two inning and played first the other two innings where she does very good. The coaches daughter pitched this game and did good but when they start over throwing the ball all hell breaks loose.
We took another little break and then the coaches asked me what I thought about their line up... I said I think you need to work on the bunt and bunt the hell out of these girls to get them on base then set up your power hitters and get them to RBI these chicks on base in... So we worked on the bunt and waited for the next game to start. E. started to cop an attitude cause she's part woman and that's what women do... (bitch) When the third game started at 6:00pm!! yes a little late The coach had another girl pitch and she put the ball right over the plate which is the wrong thing to do in these games because they hit those balls. So he kept E. in on the bench in the event he needed her to pitch again.. Well this did not sit well with her so she had that face...Ugh I hate the face and the eye roll and the crossed leg nervouse bitch shake..... man..... Where did my little girl go?
Anyway he puts her in to pitch and she starts striking them out so then we get close but not close enough to win plus it was windy and getting late and bhla...
All and all it was good and the time went by surprisingly fast and we all got burned in the sun...

May 5th!!!

Alright Bitches May 5th is just around the corner!! I have in my hand the tickets 6th row section one!!!
I can't wait fow this one!!!!!! Here is a set list I found on line.. This should be pretty good..
01. E5150
02. After All (The Dead)
03. The Mob Rules
04. Children of The Sea
05. Lady Evil
06. Ear In The Wall
07. I
08. The Sign of The Southern Cross
09. Voodoo
10. The Devil Cried
11. Vinny Appice Solo
12. Computer God
13. Falling Off The Edge of The World
14. Shadow of The Wind
15. Die Young
16. Heaven and Hell
---------------------17. Neon Knights
It's like still a few weeks away but I am as excited as a little girl!!
More to come bitches..

I was left feeling sooo numb!!!

This is not me but it is a very realistic before and after shot of what I was transformed to (with a gun pointed at my head).
You see my lovely bride of many many years used to complain about my back hair. Well after the last couple years of using sheep shears this winters coat was suprisingly ample....The hair came back soo plush and long like nice new shag carpet. So She forced me into letting her wax it off... If any of you have seen "the 40 year old virgin" and I am not refering to hatch.. You know what I went thru. I mean I have a really high tollerance for pain.... I mean I have remained friends with the TOL commander for years that has been extremly painful.. But back the matter at hand. It hurt sooo freakin bad that at times it actually felt like I had a loose piece of skin from a fresh knife wound on my back and if someone would have grabbed that skin and jerked it real fast and RIPPED it off my back much like skinnin a switch for yo grandma to whip yo ass wiff!!! Holy shit I had so much hair to remove that it took over an hour and she went thru an entire bucket of this bodyhair wax... I have since calmed down but for hours I had the crying shakes... Yaa knowww h.h.howw y.y.yaa gettt s.s.s.oo wwwwworrkkeed up yaaa stttuuddder whhillle crryyinnngg.. Ya well thats what I ended doing most of Saturday after noon.. But I am hairless.... almost every where!!

Here hold this, it will be cool!!

No wonder they are blowin our shit up!!
LOL
Fuck these people..
They kill innocent people over a belief?
It's not like our god even hurt their god...
They are destuctive because they believe they have to be in order to get to their Nirvana.. I used the word Nirvana cause they sure the Fuck aint gettin into heaven!!
That's what is so scary that a believe system can cause a person to do shit like that...
I just don't get it.. But I thought this pic was good!!
Peace bitches

Famous Amos is pissed!!

AIGHT!! which of one of you Motha Fuckas ate all the mutha fuckin cookies??.

Hey who you callin fat?

FER CHRISTS SAKE WILL YA COVER YERSELF!!

Hey has anyone seen my Cell phone? I thought I put it down on a white stool but now I don't even see a white stool? That's weird..

Trying to put 10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb bag!!

Have you ever seen a butcher packing a sausage casing like this?
Holy moly! if that button lets loose it will end up getting lodged in someones forhead!!
One whole city block away!!

Quitting something else?

Alright, now I am on another journey to see if I have the discipline to tackle this habit!!
I am currently at my 5th day of no smoking.. I am doing this for a number of obvious reasons as shown below but also to make it easier to afford a jet skiing wave running contraption. At 6 plus dollars a pack up round here in Crook county it is getting very expensive. So wish me luck.. So far I am talking a mile a minute and will snap your head off at the drop of a dime!! Everyone in my office is throwing cigarettes at me and ordering me to smoke....
If I can kick this habit I must just have to take up Huffen spray paint just so I can quit that habit also... Although I don't want my face looking like a painters drop cloth...
Somehow the song "I can't quit you ,Baby" From Zep sounds pretty cool right about now..
And I'm off to the gym..

stop crying!! you will scare the Easter Bunny. Remember readers evil is every where and even the cutest of venues that seem harmless to us might be frightening as hell to others!!! This poor child is being forced into a picture that he is not very happy with.. This is the way I feel when I am asked to dance.. I get really scared because I don't have the ability to self medicate with a little bit of liquid courage...
Anyhow remember this picture next time someone is really freakin out about something that seems harmless to us..


This is what is really scary, If you show this to people they will definitely be afraid... of you!!! What kind of sick fuck finds humor in this? I mean look at the waste of eggs!!! Good lord do you realize the poultry carnage that is going thru my mind!!!
Happy Easter Bitches!!

My wife sent me out to the store get more plates for our easter celebration ....
So I brought this Bitch back.......

Fuck yo gramma

OK !! since my grammar,spelling and use of the English language is reprehensible and in need of a major overhaul I have enrolled in an online grammar /spelling course.. Here is one of the first lessons..

I thought this was pretty funny .... Ya know you would look if a girl was wearing one!! Hell some of you wankers would look if a guy was wearing one!!! GAYYYYYY

Father time is cruel!!

OK So I found this pic at a heavy metal website from Seatle and they bitched pretty hard about Mega-Deth and Mustane being a cry baby.... I think we are in for a real treat with Machine Head opening up for this gig..... After seeing this video I am now convinced that this will definetly be a people watching orgy!!!
scroll down past what this web site had to say about the Deth and get a load of Dio in the younger days...

So the first leg of this spring/summer's hottest reunion concert featuring the Elf and Half-Sabbath has been announced and us Seattle metalheads get boned big time. Sure, we're not huge fans of the Dio-era B.S. but Ozzy and Sharon are such a-holes now this tour sounded pretty fun. We bought the "Heaven and Hell" L.P. and do enjoy some of them cuts, 'specially "Children of The Sea." And the new tune is kickin'. Hopefully they'll come up our way this fall and we see the true heavy metal horns be thrown. What we're grateful about is not having to sit through Machine Head and Megadeth to get to H & H. Machine Head gets a big yawn from the Duty crew, but the "Traveling Mustaine Meltdown Suedo-Christian Who The Fuck Are The Rest Of These Guys Band" fucking sucks and we never want to see them live. Dave is shit and will always be shit. For the life of us we can't understand why a guy with marginal talent overcame getting kicked out of the most successful metal band of all time to have a fine career of his own can't get over a fucking tiny Danish asshole drummer. You band sucks and you made money. Stop fucking crying. We have to admit, we do like a couple 'Deth tunes, both which weren't on studio albums, which shows Dave doesn't know which of his songs don't suck.

I can't wait to go Fishin!!

This is an awesome story...as most fishing stories are.. I believe this to be true and the pictures are very cool. I can only hope to hook into a few of these bastards this year. There is nothing like the feel of a good tug on your rod... So with baited breath I must wait for the time and weather to change so I can put The Rica Marie back on the lake and wet a line...........

>> >This guy told me about this fish that was caught in the late fall and> >I> >thought he was bullshitting me. He just sent me some of the>pictures.> >Here's the story. The guy fishing in the late fall caught a good>size> >northern pike. When he was reeling it in he thought he got tangled in>a> >log. He pulled it closer to the boat and looked over the side and saw>the> >three foot northen he caught, but there was a bigger fish biting into>it.> >He brought it to the surface and took a picture of it and saw it was> >another northern, I mean a big ass northern. The picture below is>the> >big northern eating the three foot one who is hooked. He had a>muskie> >net and scooped both fish in. Anyway he never weighed it or measured>it,> >he was too tired and since he scooped it with a net and did not catch>it> >on a hook he let it go. He showed the picture of him with the fish in>the> >boat to some other guys who e-mailed it around the country and>apparently> >just by looking at it everyone is agreeing it is probably the biggest>> >northern ever caught.

Concert of the year

Oh man I just received an early b-day gift that ROCKS like no other!! I have been trying to get tickets on line for the past few days for the Heaven and Hell concert we all know about!! I was contacted by the infamous TOL commander and ordered to retrieve him a ticket also.. With this in mind I set out on a journey to find 3 tickets.. difficult because they sell in 2's and 4's.So finally my wife had enough and informed me that she and one Brain (Duke) got together and purchased tickets for he and I to attend this event (This was arraigned before The TOL commander became involved).

Sideline note to The TOL commander; get a-hold of Johnny Catoure or Joe Cammarillo to get tickets with I will drive and we will all go together..

Any how I feel bad the commander got left out of this deal but there is still more than enough time to get tickets and given the circumstances I know he will understand..

On to the good news..... Section 1 (right in front of the stage) 6Th FUCKING ROW!!!! (pretty pricey also I might add) So Wil get tickets quick.

This will be awesome!!! Brain and I have already discussed fashion for the vening and given the setting we agree that we should abandon the sweater vests and dockers and replace them with some Dungarees and possibly a wife beater accessorized with some sort of flannel blouse. Given the age of us all and the stage of decay our bodies are presently at.. I have a few suggestions.

I found these in the book entitled "concert going for the elderly" what to wear and how to behave..

Makes sure you use a Denture adhesive that is industrial strength. Given the location of the tickets in regards to the speaker placement the vibration could cause them to come loose.

Wear comfortable shoes. Velcro straps are suggested, in the events that your feet swell you can quickly loosen them before they swell up and spill out of the shoes like a loaf of fresh bread.

Make sure that all prosthetics and medical bracelets are securely fastened.. You don't want to loose any of these during the crowd surfing it could make the rest of the evening difficult.

Remember when concert going with a person who has a heart condition, Nitro-glycerin tabs are to be placed under the tongue, they are not a suppository. Your partner may sneeze and blow his asshole out!

Pack an additional pair of depends. This will enable you to see the encore without have to change the first pair.

Oxygen tanks along with canes and walkers are allowed on the premises but not in the mosh-pit.

Replace the batteries in your hearing aid.

Use extra strong glue on your Hair hats and tupayes.

Remember when concert going without the ID chip in your neck, you should always have some type of identification card with you.. in the event that you become disoriented and get lost this info will expididte your return to your rightful care-givers.

Peace Bitches