Concert of the year

Oh man I just received an early b-day gift that ROCKS like no other!! I have been trying to get tickets on line for the past few days for the Heaven and Hell concert we all know about!! I was contacted by the infamous TOL commander and ordered to retrieve him a ticket also.. With this in mind I set out on a journey to find 3 tickets.. difficult because they sell in 2's and 4's.So finally my wife had enough and informed me that she and one Brain (Duke) got together and purchased tickets for he and I to attend this event (This was arraigned before The TOL commander became involved).

Sideline note to The TOL commander; get a-hold of Johnny Catoure or Joe Cammarillo to get tickets with I will drive and we will all go together..

Any how I feel bad the commander got left out of this deal but there is still more than enough time to get tickets and given the circumstances I know he will understand..

On to the good news..... Section 1 (right in front of the stage) 6Th FUCKING ROW!!!! (pretty pricey also I might add) So Wil get tickets quick.

This will be awesome!!! Brain and I have already discussed fashion for the vening and given the setting we agree that we should abandon the sweater vests and dockers and replace them with some Dungarees and possibly a wife beater accessorized with some sort of flannel blouse. Given the age of us all and the stage of decay our bodies are presently at.. I have a few suggestions.

I found these in the book entitled "concert going for the elderly" what to wear and how to behave..

Makes sure you use a Denture adhesive that is industrial strength. Given the location of the tickets in regards to the speaker placement the vibration could cause them to come loose.

Wear comfortable shoes. Velcro straps are suggested, in the events that your feet swell you can quickly loosen them before they swell up and spill out of the shoes like a loaf of fresh bread.

Make sure that all prosthetics and medical bracelets are securely fastened.. You don't want to loose any of these during the crowd surfing it could make the rest of the evening difficult.

Remember when concert going with a person who has a heart condition, Nitro-glycerin tabs are to be placed under the tongue, they are not a suppository. Your partner may sneeze and blow his asshole out!

Pack an additional pair of depends. This will enable you to see the encore without have to change the first pair.

Oxygen tanks along with canes and walkers are allowed on the premises but not in the mosh-pit.

Replace the batteries in your hearing aid.

Use extra strong glue on your Hair hats and tupayes.

Remember when concert going without the ID chip in your neck, you should always have some type of identification card with you.. in the event that you become disoriented and get lost this info will expididte your return to your rightful care-givers.

Peace Bitches